Hey
everybody, welcome back to Office Hours with the Brofessor: the Show
Where I Say Things. Today we’re going to talk about the fall of
the increasingly depraved and corrupt Shang dynasty. Last time we
discussed how, if you didn’t happen to be a member of the Shang
aristocracy, you stood a pretty good chance of getting ritually
sacrificed to appease the spirits. Now we’ll talk about how this
bloody and cruel regime finally met its end.
The
last Shang king, named Zhou (i.e. “Zhou of Shang) reigned during
the 11th century BC. He wasn’t a good guy. Remember
the last king of the Xia dynasty, who liked to get drunk and make
people give him horsey rides? This guy makes him look like Santa
Claus.
Let’s
start with the beer pool. Not content with being just another
run-of-the-mill alcoholic, Zhou went so far as to actually make a
swimming pool and fill it up with beer. In the middle of the pool he
made an island with trees planted on it. From the trees were hanging
skewers of barbecued meat, presumably so that he could eat back the
calories that he burned doing beer-laps.
Now
I don’t know about you, but I think that sounds like a pretty good
idea for a fraternity party. And while
it does sound like an epic rager that would be the talk of the dining
hall on Monday, it wasn’t exactly kingly behavior. One day, King
Zhou’s advisor confronted him on it. He said, “Look your
highness, this is pretty decadent, even by Shang standards.”
But
Zhou would have none of it. “What an upright man you are!” he
said. “Let’s find out what the heart of an upright man looks
like(1).” So he killed the dude and ripped his heart out, straight
up Temple-of-Doom Aztec Style.
That
was it. His vassals weren’t going to just sand back and watch
their friend get be-hearted. So, in 1046 BC, they decided to fight
back at the decisive Battle of Muye(2). The rebels were led by the
valiant king Wu
of Zhou--not to be confused with his enemy, King Zhou of Shang!
Although the rebels only had fifty thousand troops against the
Shang’s seven hundred thousand, their morale was high and their
hearts were brave! It must have seemed unreal to the doomed Shang
king as his mighty force crumbled before a relative handful. As the
conquering heroes closed in on his palace, the king decided to deny
the victors the satisfaction of killing him themselves. In the end
he burned his palace down, with himself inside(3).
Zhou
of Shang would later become so reviled by history that his very name
would be changed later records to 纣
zhou4
“crupper”--that is, the part of a saddle that’s strapped to a
horse’s butt(4).
The
once-mighty Shang had fallen. A new dynasty would rise, with the
heroic Wu of Zhou at its head. Learn more about them next time, on
Origins of Chinese Civilization, Part IX: The Mandate of Heaven. See
you next time!
Sources:
5.
http://www.lishiquwen.com/news/538.html
(Image)
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