Tha Brosary, Part II: The Sorrowful Mysteries (Tues & Fri)

(Disclaimer--I am perfectly aware that my pronunciation does not match the norms of Latin, Ecclesiastical or otherwise. For example, I pronounce "regnum" as /ɹɛgnʌm/, not /reɲum/. This is because I am a beginner with the Latin language, and have never had the opportunity to study it formally. Also, Latin today is more of a written than spoken language. So sit on that. If you got a problem, feel free to start buying me Latin lessons.)

(Signum Crucis--Sign of Cross)

✠ In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritu Sancti. Amen.

(Symbolum Apostolicam--Apostles' Creed)

Credo in Deum, Patrem omnipotentem, creatorem caeli et terrae. Et in Iesum Christum, Filium eius unicum, Dominum nostrum, qui conceptus est de Spiritu Sancto, natus ex Maria Virgine, passus sub Pontio Pilato, crucifixus, mortuus et sepultus. Descendit ad infernos, tertia die resurrexit a mortuis. Ascendit ad caelos, sedet ad dexteram Dei Patris omnipotentis. Inde venturus est iudicare vivos et mortuos. Credo in Spiritum Sanctum, sanctam Ecclesiam catholicam, sanctorum communionem, remissionem peccatorum, carnis resurrectionem, vitam aeternam. Amen.

(Pater Noster--Our Father)

Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.

(Ave Maria--Hail Mary)

Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benidictus fructus ventris tui Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

(x3)

(Gloria Patri--Lesser Doxology)

Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Amen.

The First Sorrowful Mystery: The Agony in the Garden.

He was in such agony and he prayed so fervently that His sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground. When he rose from prayer and returned to His disciples, He found them sleeping from grief. (Lk 22: 44-45)

Fruit of the mystery: Sorrow for sin.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

(Oratio Fatima)

Domine Iesu, dimitte nobis debita nostra, salva nos ab igne inferiori, perduc in caelum omnes animas, praesertim eas quae misericordiae tuae maxime indigent.

The Second Sorrowful Mystery: The Scourging at the Pillar.

Then Pilate took Jesus and had Him scourged. (John 19:1)

Fruit of the mystery: Purity.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

The Third Sorrowful Mystery: The Crowning with Thorns.

They stripped off His clothes and threw a scarlet military cloak about him. Weaving a crown out of thorns, they placed it on His head, and a reed in His right hand. (Mt 27:28-29)

Fruit of the mystery: Courage.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

The Fourth Sorrowful Mystery: The Carrying of the Cross.

And carrying the cross Himself, He went out to what is called the Place of the Skull, in Hebrew, Golgotha. (Jn 19:17)

Fruit of the mystery: Patience.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

The Fifth Sorrowful Mystery: The Crucifixion.

Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit"; and when He had said this, He breathed his last. (Lk 23:46)

Fruit of the mystery: Perseverance.

(The Lord's Prayer in Tukudh Gwich'in)

Nikhwati' zhee zhit nighwìłnjik, Noozhrì’ shriinjuujuudinùu. Niguk’ègwaadhat nìjùuzhìt. Niyinjì’ zhee zhit gwik’ìt nankak akoo digoonjì’. Jii drin zhit nikhwe'enąhtsit, drin ndòo łegwidinaazhyaa nikhwashìi. Nikhwatr’igwaandùu nikhwa’oo’àn gwichiinlii, nits’oo aii nat tr’igwaandùu nikhwat’àngidii’in goots’an oo’àn gwichìidìlìi. Guk’àgwidandaii gwats’a’ nikhwat’anǫǫ’ee shrò’, gòo tr’igwaandùu nikhwa’anaonjìi. Amen.

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

(Angele Dei--Guardian Angel Prayer)

Angele Dei, cui custos es mei, me tibi comissum pietate superna. Hac hodie/nocte illumina, custodi, rege, et guberna. Amen.

(St. Michael Prayer)

Taxiarche Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio. Contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium. Imperet ille Deus, supplices deprecamur, et tuque, princeps militiae caelestis, Satanam aliosque spiritus malignos, qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo, divina virtute, in infernum detrude. Amen.

(Salve Regina--Hail Holy Queen)

Salve, Regina, mater misericordiae, vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve. Ad te clamamus, exsules filii Hevae; ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes in hac lacrimarum valle. Eia, ergo, advocata nostra, illos tuos misericordes oculos ad nos converte. Et Iesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui, ad nobis post hoc exsilium ostende. O clemens, o pia, o dulcis Virgo Maria.

V. Ora pro nobis, sancta Dei Genitrix.

R. Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi.

Amen.

(Prayer After Rosary)

Deus, cuius Unigenitus per vitam, mortem et resurrectionem suam nobis salutis aeternae praemia comparavit: concede, quaesumus; ut, haec mysteria sacratissimo beatae Mariae Virginis Rosario recolentes. Et imitemur quod continent, et quod promittunt, assequamur. Per eundem Christum Dominum nostrum.  Amen.

✠ In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritu Sancti. Amen.

Tha Brosary, Part I: Joyful Mysteries (Mon & Sat)

 (Disclaimer--I am perfectly aware that my pronunciation does not match the norms of Latin, Ecclesiastical or otherwise. For example, I pronounce "regnum" as /ɹɛgnʌm/, not /reɲum/. This is because I am a beginner with the Latin language, and have never had the opportunity to study it formally. Also, Latin today is more of a written than spoken language. So sit on that. If you got a problem, feel free to start buying me Latin lessons.)

(Signum Crucis--Sign of Cross)

✠ In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritu Sancti. Amen.

(Symbolum Apostolicam--Apostles' Creed)

Credo in Deum, Patrem omnipotentem, creatorem caeli et terrae. Et in Iesum Christum, Filium eius unicum, Dominum nostrum, qui conceptus est de Spiritu Sancto, natus ex Maria Virgine, passus sub Pontio Pilato, crucifixus, mortuus et sepultus. Descendit ad infernos, tertia die resurrexit a mortuis. Ascendit ad caelos, sedet ad dexteram Dei Patris omnipotentis. Inde venturus est iudicare vivos et mortuos. Credo in Spiritum Sanctum, sanctam Ecclesiam catholicam, sanctorum communionem, remissionem peccatorum, carnis resurrectionem, vitam aeternam. Amen.

(Pater Noster--Our Father)

Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.

(Ave Maria--Hail Mary)

Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benidictus fructus ventris tui Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

(x3)

(Gloria Patri--Lesser Doxology)

Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto. Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper, et in saecula saeculorum. Amen.

The First Joyful Mystery: The Annunciation.

And when the angel had come to her, he said, "Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you." (Lk 1:28)

Fruit of the Mystery: Humility.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

(Oratio Fatima)

Domine Iesu, dimitte nobis debita nostra, salva nos ab igne inferiori, perduc in caelum omnes animas, praesertim eas quae misericordiae tuae maxime indigent.

The Second Joyful Mystery: The Visitation.

Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, "Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb." (Lk 1:41-42)

Fruit of the Mystery: Love of Neighbor.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

The Third Joyful Mystery: The Nativity.

She gave birth to her firstborn Son. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. (Lk 2:7)

Fruit of the mystery: Poverty in Spirit.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

The Fourth Joyful Mystery: The Presentation in the Temple.

When the days were completed for their purification according to the law of Moses, they took Him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord, just as it is written in the law of the Lord, "Every male that opens the womb shall be consecrated to the Lord." (Lk 2:22-23)

Fruit of the mystery: Obedience.

Pater noster...x1

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

The Fifth Joyful Mystery: Finding the Child Jesus in the Temple.

After three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. (Lk 2:46)

Fruit of the mystery: Joy in Finding Jesus.

(The Lord's Prayer in Tukudh Gwich'in)

Nikhwati' zhee zhit nighwìłnjik, Noozhrì’ shriinjuujuudinùu. Niguk’ègwaadhat nìjùuzhìt. Niyinjì’ zhee zhit gwik’ìt nankak akoo digoonjì’. Jii drin zhit nikhwe'enąhtsit, drin ndòo łegwidinaazhyaa nikhwashìi. Nikhwatr’igwaandùu nikhwa’oo’àn gwichiinlii, nits’oo aii nat tr’igwaandùu nikhwat’àngidii’in goots’an oo’àn gwichìidìlìi. Guk’àgwidandaii gwats’a’ nikhwat’anǫǫ’ee shrò’, gòo tr’igwaandùu nikhwa’anaonjìi.

Ave Maria...x10

Gloria Patri...x1

Domine Iesu...x1

(Angele Dei--Guardian Angel Prayer)

Angele Dei, cui custos es mei, me tibi comissum pietate superna. Hac hodie/nocte illumina, custodi, rege, et guberna. Amen.

(St. Michael Prayer)

Taxiarche Michael Archangele, defende nos in proelio. Contra nequitiam et insidias diaboli esto praesidium. Imperet ille Deus, supplices deprecamur, et tuque, princeps militiae caelestis, Satanam aliosque spiritus malignos, qui ad perditionem animarum pervagantur in mundo, divina virtute, in infernum detrude. Amen.

(Salve Regina--Hail Holy Queen)

Salve, Regina, mater misericordiae, vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve. Ad te clamamus, exsules filii Hevae; ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes in hac lacrimarum valle. Eia, ergo, advocata nostra, illos tuos misericordes oculos ad nos converte. Et Iesum, benedictum fructum ventris tui, ad nobis post hoc exsilium ostende. O clemens, o pia, o dulcis Virgo Maria. Amen.

V. Ora pro nobis, sancta Dei Genitrix.

R. Ut digni efficiamur promissionibus Christi.

(Prayer After Rosary)

Deus, cuius Unigenitus per vitam, mortem et resurrectionem suam nobis salutis aeternae praemia comparavit: concede, quaesumus; ut, haec mysteria sacratissimo beatae Mariae Virginis Rosario recolentes. Et imitemur quod continent, et quod promittunt, assequamur. Per eundem Christum Dominum nostrum. Amen.

✠ In nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritu Sancti. Amen.

Bro's Graduation Speech: Free East Turkestan!

Every graduate at my ceremony gets an 8 second video clip to say whatever they want. Here's mine.

"I call for individual awareness of and international action against the ongoing genocide in western China! 天滅中共 tian1 mie4 zhong1 gong4 ('may Heaven obliterate the Chinese Communist Party')!"

Free East Turkestan/Xinjiang, Tibet, and Southern/Inner Mongolia! As for Taiwan, hopefully the 大陆共匪 'mainland communist bandits' will surrender soon. Then we can investigate their genocides against Tibetans, Falun Gong Practitioners, and most recently non-ethnolinguistically-Chinese Muslims such as the Uyghurs and Kazakhs. Don't forget the tens of millions of Han Chinese murdered by the CCP since its founding. Let's end the genocide and bring down the evil CCP. Liberate Hong Kong and buy Taiwanese pineapples! 天滅中共！

Across Alaska with Jeffrey John

 Jeffrey is back by popular demand, let's hear what he has to say about caribou hunting, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and ancient migrations into the Western Hemisphere.

The mysterious, handsome young stranger on the right of the screen is my pal Mark.

Possibly the Most Thrilling Spectacle You Will Witness in Your Life

Since time immemorial, mankind has yearned to spend public university money on the documentation and morphological description of classificatory verbs in the Gwich'in Athabascan language. 

Now, the wait is over.

My classmate wanted me to post the flyer for his thesis defense on my blog. It's a public zoom event and should be interesting. I encourage everyone interested in Athabaskan linguistics, verb/noun classification, or verb morphology in general to attend. All three of those are pretty up my alley, so I'm planning to go and listen. All the information you need is right here:

Hope to see you, your friends, your (grand)parents and your pets there as Gwich'in classificatory verbs are an important topic with which everyone, including your dog, ought to have a comfortable familiarity.

Gwich'in Dance, Life and Language with Jeffrey John

 Today we have an important guest on the show: Jeffrey John. He is a dancer and hunter from Venetie, Alaska. Jeffrey is one of maybe 400 people in the world who speak Gwich'in as their first language.

We hope Gwich'in people on both sides of the Canada-Alaska border can see this video and get in touch. Let's all get together and dance soon!

Note also my goatee in the intro segment, and my full beard in the interview. Let me know what looks best: goatee, beard, or clean cut!

Mother's Day Special: Matriarchs and Patriarchs

            Recently in my Bible I’ve had a lot of fun reading the Patriarchal stories of Genesis: like Abraham, Sodom and Gomorrah, and Joseph in Egypt. Lots of badass bronze-age swashbuckling, like when Abe gets three hundred of his bros together and they rescue his wimpy nephew from the armies of four kings. It’s an interesting story. One of these monarchs is simply referred to as the king of “the Nations” (Heb.: Goyim). Just one is enough for most kings, but apparently not this dude. Also interesting is that two of the kingdoms, Shinar (i.e., Sumer) and Elam, were traditional enemies according to Mesopotamian records. This was an unprecedented military alliance between normally competing major powers—think of the US and the Russia teaming up. They are reinforced by some dude calling himself "King of the Nations". And some other dude--so, let's say, the Prince of Liechtenstein. This is no petty tribal dispute.

            So Abe and the boys roll in, knock some heads together, and rescue his wuss of a nephew from Liechtenstein and company--even though said nephew had betrayed him earlier. These guys were legit, sword-and-sandal Bronan the Brobarians, treading the jeweled kingdoms of old beneath their feet, seeing their enemies driven before them, and hearing the lamentations of said enemies’ women. One time my neighbor and I were reflecting on David and BATHsheba (geddit?). After a short pause in the conversation, we shook our heads and agreed, “Man…that is gangster.”

            David might have been an OG, but these dudes are the O’est of OG’s. They were the tent-dwelling warlords of the desert, wielding swords of bronze, who rode camels into battle (probably a slight anachronism) and laid siege to cities. These unlettered steppe herdsmen forged mighty nations by the strength of their sword arms, such that their deeds were etched on tablets of stone and remembered in the halls of scribes and learned men; their sons were the fathers of kings. Their doings reverberate through the millennia to us today. It is exactly the legacy an ancient barbarian warlord would want.

            But one thing I keep noticing is that these guys—all of them—sin against their wives in terms of sexual fidelity. Whenever someone screws up in these stories, it’s usually a man screwing up in his relationship with a woman. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, and his sons are deeply flawed men and these flaws deeply mar the job they did as patriarchs, i.e., the male heads of their households. Here is a quick list:

1.      Abraham sells his wife, who he’s pretending is his sister, to various kings as a sex slave. Also, Abe himself is a polygamist.

2.      Isaac, who did the same thing with his wife. Although he himself may not have been a polygamist, he certainly has no problems with everyone else doing it and at one point harasses his son to get a third wife.

3.      Jacob, whose shenanigans involving the birthright are well known. Also a polygamist.

4.      Judah, whose daughter-in-law blackmails him into paying her what he owes by disguising herself as a prostitute and having sex with him. He then tries to have her stoned for prostitution.

            These guys were not described by their contemporaries or by the writer(s) of Genesis as good dudes. God, the “Editor” of the Bible, wants us to be aware of the imperfection of these men. Perhaps most notably, each of them falls into serious sexual sin. The specific sin is frequently but not always polygamy, which seems to have been in the time of the patriarchs roughly equivalent to casual sex, divorce, pornography and the like in secular, post-sexual-revolution Western society today. It was a ubiquitous sexual sin that these men sometimes internally struggled with and sometimes openly committed, but they were all guilty of it to some degree.

            In committing the sin of polygamy, the Patriarchs were guilty of sinning not only agains God, but also against their wives the Matriarchs. The Patriarchs’ society permitted and even encouraged what was essentially the sexual ownership of multiple women by a single man. He had no commitments to them in terms of sexual fidelity. To this day this is still practiced in societies claiming descent from the (very) polygamous Patriarchs Ishmael and Esau. However, the writer(s) frequently and forcefully communicate that God’s ideal is uncompromised lifelong monogamy in a godly marriage and family. Even godly men in the ancient world struggled with this, just like how even otherwise godly men in the modern world sometimes struggle with pornography or Tinder hookups.

            The writer(s) communicate this ideal most clearly in the personages of Abraham and Sarah, who are in their nineties and God keeps telling them, has told them for decades, that she’ll have a kid. And she does. One of my favorite parts of the book of Genesis is the birth of Isaac. It’s told with such a matter-of-fact but at the same time somehow breathlessly astonished tone, letting the event speak for itself. One can almost imagine that it’s an eyewitness account handed down through centuries of oral tradition. Abraham had a child at 100, but that’s not the really impressive part. The impressive part is that Sarah had a child as a ninetysomething. Abraham’s willingness to enter a polygamous union for the sake of a child demonstrates a hopelessness that God’s promise would actually come true. But that’s not how God works. God doesn’t compromise for His people.

            As shown with what happens next in the story, the Patriarchs frequently and seriously failed at their job because of sexual sin. God will not accept Ishmael as firstborn because he is the illegitimate child of a polygamous union—Hagar is not Abraham’s wife in the eyes of God. But don’t feel too bad for Ishmael, much like that of all his other male relatives, he later has plenty of wives and concubines of his own. Imagine that, parents screwing up and their kids having to deal with the same problems.

            I hope I do not come off as misandrist if I assign a higher degree of job competency, in general, to the Matriarchs of Genesis than the Patriarchs. At any rate, they did not mess up as seriously and as frequently. I do not think they were necessarily better people than their husbands, but when they screwed up it didn’t make it into the Bible as often, and when they do make it in whatever happened was ultimately a man’s fault. It is true, for example, that Rebecca helped Jacob conspire against Esau, but ultimately the fault is Isaac’s for showing favoritism to Esau and fathering Jacob so poorly that he turned into such a Sneaky Little Shit:

            So I submit that the Matriarchs mostly did their job as “female head of household” better than the Patriarchs did their job of “male head of household”. I say “male” and “female head of household” deliberately. I don’t want to talk here about Biblical male headship and whether or not the jobs of Matriarch and Patriarch involve a subordinate power dynamic. It obviously did four thousand years ago. But much like polygamy and the stoning of prostitutes, just because something was done in the ancient world does not mean it has to be done now. The position I hold regarding the related concepts of polygamy and female subservience, incidentally, are two of the reasons I am Christian and not Muslim.

            The Patriarchal stories of Genesis are an extremely sobering warning to men, especially fathers and husbands, everywhere. The Matriarchs were often and maybe even usually better at their jobs and personal conduct than the Patriarchs. These stories also tell us that when the Patriarchs screwed up, the consequences are often and maybe even usually more severe than when the Matriarchs did. Be careful, gentlemen. Lust is a killer and it gets even otherwise godly and extraordinarily badass Old Testament desert warlords. Fortunately, God did not abandon Abe and the boys, and he will not abandon us in our own struggles. Each of these men ended his life walking with God and receiving His blessing. He invites us to do the same. Still, it is unavoidable: the Editor seems to be telling us the moms did a better job than the dads.

            That in mind, Happy Mother’s Day.